An addicted insider’s account of our real lives in the era of the realtime, social web.

An Introduction to the Wasteland

Thanks for visiting Tweetage Wasteland: An addicted insider’s account of what’s happening to our real lives and relationships in the era of the realtime, social web.

You can hit the superhero head to see the latest. Here are few highlights ordered by topic to better introduce you to the topics I cover. Follow along.

– Identity, Memory and Urgency in the Cloud Age

Confession #44: My Head is in the Cloud
How could she possibly not know her own boyfriend’s telephone number? It must have been the trauma of being hit by a car. But then I thought about it for a few seconds, and I realized that – without pulling out my iPhone – I don’t know her telephone number either.

Confession #67: Say Hello to My Little Friend
As the realtime, social web has erupted, so too has my transition from being a dealer to being a dealer and a hardcore user. I’ve been denying this reality for years. I easily convinced myself that I wasn’t the Nurse Jackie of the internet. I told myself I was just taking a little taste to make sure I understood the product I was serving out to others — the civilians, the suckers. But it was a lie.

Confession #79: Pull Over Before You Read This
All of this data can wait until later – and much of it can wait until never.

Confession #55: I Walked the Brooklyn Bridge Without Facebook
This was an era before the internet became an umbilical cord.

Confession #48: We All Have Photographic Memories Now
McEnroe has never watched the video of his dramatic 1980 Wimbledon final against Bjorn Borg … He doesn’t want to take the chance that his memory of the experience will be altered or even replaced by a new memory of the video version of the event.

Confession #72: I’m Being Followed By My Life
The web won’t let the present become past. Welcome to an era when junior high lasts forever.


– Privacy

Confession #46: Is the End of Privacy the End of Shame?
I was eleven and sitting in my child psychiatrist’s waiting room. The door opened. And there was my worst nightmare – a kid from my school walking out of the same office where I was about to walk in.

Confession #63: Are We Really Dumb Zucks?
The only privacy policy that really matters is your own.


– Media in Age of Twitter

Confession #77: You’ve Got to Face This Face
A few weeks ago I might have argued that it’s almost impossible to shock members of Generation TMI. I would have been wrong. I was shocked by a recent Time cover that featured a photo of Aisha, an 18 year-old Afghan woman who had her nose and ears cut off by the Taliban.

Confession #81: Adolescence in the Age of Pay-Per-Minute Porn
My friend Mordy’s four-finger method worked for seven days. And during that unforgettable week, my neighborhood shut down.

Confession #86: From Walkman to Facebook: How Tuning in Led to Tuning Out
Three decades after the Walkman, we find ourselves seeking social connections through the very devices that isolated us in the first place.

Confession #29: I Can’t Read Anything Longer Than This Headline
After a decade of browsing, blogging, linking, clicking and Tweeting, I find it nearly impossible to focus on a book even when I try to recreate a reading environment that mirrors a more technologically simple time.

Confession #74: The Web’s Five Most Endangered Words
The five most endangered words of the realtime internet era are:
Let me think about that.


– Generation TMI

Confession #71: Happy Birthday From Me and My Son’s Dentist
Facebook has destroyed birthdays – and my one and only social skill.

Confession #89: 100 People I Hate on Facebook
Facebook is made up of those dinner party guests who just won’t leave even though it’s late and everyone else left two hours ago. After a while, everything anyone does on Facebook becomes irritating.

Confession #87: I Can’t Keep it in My Pants
We walk around with what seems like infinite access in our pockets, and yet, we often experience our lives through two-inch screens.

Confession #60: Like, Whatever
What does it mean to “like” something?

Confession #28: I Don’t Really Care Where You Are
There are an increasing number of you who suffer from a major case of Waldo Envy (you’re convinced people care where you are).

Confession #52: I Broke Up with Jenny McCarthy. Please RT
There’s no such thing as TMI, only TMC (Too Many Characters).

Confession #20: The Thirty Year Swim
The photo and the words would be equally meaningful whether I shared then at that second or if I at least waited until my feet were dry.

Confession #58: It Was the OKest of Times
First lines of novels in the age of Facebook


— Addictions (My Street Cred)

Confession #47: I’m a Web Analytics Junkie
There’s Springsteen on stage in Jersey belting out Born to Run. There’s Obama on election night in Hyde Park … And there’s you in your undershorts, fists pumping in the air, awash in the glory of the coming of the traffic.

Confession #78: Facebook and Loathing in Las Vegas
I find myself alone and temporarily without a ride home in a nearly empty Vegas strip club. I order a twelve dollar Bud Light and find a seat on a bench about thirty feet to the side of the main stage. I’m not into it. The place is like an after-hours ghost town; it’s how I imagine the Playboy mansion once the jumpsuited cleanup crew shows up.

Confession #51: I Kissed an iPad and I Liked It
Then my wife said: “I hate to say it, but I wish they came out with this before we had kids.”